Or at least, it feels like the hottest. If you doubt that, wait and see.
We’re sorry if you’re sick of the Romans, especially after hearing about this past month, named for Julius. But bear with us for a moment.
Octavian, as he was known in his youth, was adopted in the will of his mother’s uncle Julius Caesar, who met a bad end in 44 B.C. After that, he was called Gaius Julius Caesar, which was pretty cool — but not as cool as becoming Rome’s first emperor and changing it to Imperator Caesar. Eventually, the Senate further stroked the emperor’s vanity by slapping “Augustus” onto the end of that. Meaning “majestic,” “the increaser,” or “venerable” — so they were really laying in on thick.
Anyway, the month is named for him. That happened in 8 B.C. Before that, it was called Sextilis, but don’t ask why, because it’s just too confusing to try to explain.
So much for the name. Let’s talk about the month itself. Here are a few things associated with it:
- Get Ready for Kindergarten Month — Well, that isn’t fair, is it? Make a big deal about it with kindergartners, and then next year they expect another big deal called Get Ready for 1st Grade Month, and they get all ready to get ready, and there’s no party. Talk about taking candy from babies.
- National Immunization Awareness Month — We doubt that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. will be celebrating this, but apparently it’s actually a thing.
- National Catfish Month — If you didn’t know about this one, we know you’ll get busy setting up a major festival marking this month. Let us know when the fish will be coming out of the fryer.
But those are just indiscriminate, any-day-of-the month observances. Let’s get specific, and to keep this from being as long as a book, we’ll just stick to the American observances:
- August 1 — National Milkshake Day
- August 2 — National Watermelon Day
- August 4 — Coast Guard Day
- August 10 — National S’more Day
- August 13 – National Filet Mignon Day — Apparently, we expect to come into some money at that point.
- August 15 — National Lemon Meringue Pie Day
- August 24 — National Waffle Day
- August 25 — It’s both National Banana Split Day and National Whiskey Sour Day
- August 28 — National Cherry Turnover Day
- August 29 — National Chop Suey Day
- August 31 — National Trail Mix Day
Are you picking up on a theme here? Apparently, August is the Eatingest Month of the Year. And it’s mostly pretty junky and unhealthy, until you get to the trail mix at the end.
There are some other kinds of day, such as:
- August 5 — National Underwear Day — Even if normally don’t wear any, please do so on the 5th.
- August 14 — National Navajo Code Talkers Day — Did you see that movie?
And you can find more here. But let’s face it: Mostly, it’s about pigging out…
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